What’s With The Three Word Method Obsession?

Up until about 2 years ago, I had never once thought about or been asked to describe my three style words. In my millennial memory, style was described in one-word: an all encompassing archetype that sometimes felt more like a stereotype. You were basically either preppy, boho, glam, or edgy. Pick one. It was soothing in its straightforwardness, but I did have a creeping feeling that none of these words really described me, at least not completely. But pick one I did (preppy), and I generally moved on with my life.

While this gave me a word to describe my style, I like many others found myself veering into territory that didn’t quite jive with that one-word archetype, introducing all-new questions without clear answers. I really want a leather jacket, but how is a “preppy” person supposed to wear one? I bought a trench coat (a preppy person “essential”!). So, why doesn’t it feel right on me?

Seemingly out of nowhere, the idea of using three words to describe your style burst into our collective consciousness. In hindsight, it’s a bit obvious: if we were all feeling like just one word was too constraining, why not give yourself the flexibility of three?

We have New-York-based stylist Allison Bornstein to thank for popularizing the idea on TikTok under the banner of the Three Word Method℠, but the core idea of using three words to give clarity to a creative concept isn’t totally new. And, what really is, these days?

Companies often use three words to give shape to their brand identity. For example, Gucci defines itself as “seductive, powerful, accomplished” and Nike is said to have internalized “authentic, athletic, performance”. Creatives of all types use three words alongside visual moodboards to communicate their vision for campaigns, collections, or photoshoots. So, it was only a matter of time until this thinking made the jump to the creative realm of personal style - and, with a little research I found that other stylists have been using a three word framework for years, just in a less gone-viral-on-TikTok way.

Regardless, I suddenly found myself *desperate * to figure out my own three words, convinced that THIS would finally be the one key to unlocking my true personal style. If you’re feeling the same way, let’s take a look at how a few different style experts have approached the problem and our take on the pros & cons of each. Personal style is deeply personal, so ultimately it’s all about finding what works for you - whether that be adhering strictly to one method or mixing and matching as it suits you best.

What Do These Methodologies All Share?

Well, everyone seems to agree on two things.

First, that three words is the right number because three is flexible enough to be very personalized to you while still providing needed clarity. One word is constraining, stuffing you into a single oversimplified box. But more than three words can become overwhelming, too difficult for our very human minds to hold in one cohesive thought. Limiting to three words forces you to make some clear choices about what you are, and what you are not - and speaking from my own experience, figuring out what you’re not is really half the battle.

Second, is that the point of choosing three words isn’t purely theoretical. When done ‘correctly’, it’s actually a very practical tool that will help you make better style decisions with the outcome of consistently feeling more like “you” when you get dressed every morning.

Especially in a social-media driven world where most of our inspiration comes from outwards sources and new trends like “balletcore”, “dark academia”, and “tomato girl” (???) emerge at an absolutely breakneck pace, having a handle on your three words can make it easier to draw the line between TikTok influence and your true personal style - which, hopefully saves you time and money since you’ll be less likely to buy into pieces you regret. They are also helpful when assembling an outfit and something just feels…off. Knowing your three words can help you identify what feeling is missing from the outfit and guide you as to how to fix it.

How to Find Your Three Words

So, everyone is in agreement on the rationale for the number of words and the overall goal of having them. It all sounds great! But the real problem is….how do I choose my three words?! Different experts have very different guidance on how to get there.

Allison Bornstein: Three Word Method℠

The Three Word Method℠ is a tool that encapsulates your personal style with three descriptive words, using a methodology that assigns a specific function to each word.

1. Baseline word: take a look at your closet and pull out the pieces you wear most often. How would you describe the style of these most worn items?

2. Aspirational word: scroll through your Pinterest board, camera roll, or wherever else you store outfit inspiration. When you think of your dream style or what you want to move towards, what word comes to mind?

3. Emotional word: when you think of some of your favorite outfits, how did you feel when you wore them? How do you want your style to make you feel?

Three Word Method℠ Pros & Cons

Pros:

You may find clarity in taking each word on its own, one step at a time.

Cons:

Choosing each word in isolation from the others may leave you with three words that don’t quite capture the whole. It also may be difficult to conjure up accurately descriptive words on your own, with only self-reflection as your prompt.

The Three Word Method: Examples

Sometimes you just need to hear a dang example to get it and Allison has helpfully applied the Three Word Method℠ to many well-known celebrities. It’s a little unclear how she is able to discern from a distance someone else’s “aspirational” or “emotional” words, as those are quite personal per her method…but nevertheless, here are a few of her examples!

Tracee Ellis-Ross: Bold, Colorful, Exaggerated

Anna Wintour: Printed, Elegant, Waisted

Mary-Kate Olsen: Refined, Undone, Oversized

Amy Smilovic: Finding Your Three Adjectives

Amy Smilovic, Founder and Creative Director of Tibi, emphasizes that your three words (or, she calls them “adjectives”) should describe you as a person rather than just the clothes.

From her (highly recommended) book, The Creative Pragmatist

“When I ask people to tell me about their style, they might say, “I like to wear mid-length skirts, and I hate heels.” What I’m really asking is, “What are you like as a person?” When you start to peel that back, other hackneyed style terms like “feminine,” “sexy,” and “edgy” disappear from the conversation. Those are one-dimensional terms, and most people I know are much more complicated than that.”

Her thinking here is that style is really all about self-expression. It’s about making your outsides match your insides, so to speak. So, the three words that describe your style should really also describe you. That’s how you’re going to find the three words that stick, that don’t change with trends, and feel like the true you rather than a costume.

As she discussed with Avery Trufleman on the Articles of Interest podcast, one of Amy’s preferred methods for uncovering your three words is to think about some of your favorite quotes. Typically, those quotes are meaningful to you because they really resonate with your character. So, looking closely at them can help you analyze and externalize your own fundamental traits.

Pros & Cons of Amy’s Method

Pros:

The clarity that these words should describe you, rather than the clothes makes this feel like an exercise you’ll really only need to do once.

As an example, Allison’s method may lead you to choose “oversized” as your baseline word to describe the clothes currently in your closet - but, what if that’s simply because oversized silhouettes are currently trending? Amy’s method prompts you to dig a little deeper, where you may uncover that the right word for you is actually “relaxed”, because that is the larger outlook you bring to life regardless of the current sartorial trend.

Cons:

I’m just not someone who keeps a notebook full of my favorite quotes, so that particular suggestion was a bit of a non-starter. And again, for those of us who never aced vocabulary quizzes, it can be hard to pull forward good descriptors only based on self-reflection - or, a famous quote, as the case may be.

Alyssa Beltempo: 3 Word Rule

YouTuber and Stylist Alyssa Beltempo’s advice lies somewhere in-between Bornstein’s Three Word Method℠ and Smilovic’s firm emphasis on self-description: your three words can describe your style aesthetic, but they should also in some way describe your own personality. She suggests a few different methods to help come up with your words:

1. Look at your closet, and particularly your favorite pieces. What are the common themes?

2. Examine your daily life, and particularly your favorite parts of your day. This can help reflect the energy that really resonates with your spirit. For example, if one of your favorite moments is curling up in your pajamas with a cup of tea, then maybe one of the words should be “cozy”.

3. Create a moodboard of your aspirational style. Again, what are the common themes?

Alyssa emphasizes not to overthink things too much. Nothing is set in stone and this can be an iterative process. So, the most important thing is to just pick some words and start putting them into practice. As you’re getting dressed over the next few weeks, notice if the outfits you’re putting together and the outfits that you like the most are matching up with the three words you chose. Notice when you wear something that is outside those three words. Is that a true outlier (and so, does this outfit feel a little less like “you”?) or should you adjust your three words to incorporate that idea?

Pros & Cons of Alyssa’s Method

Pros:

Alyssa’s flexible method may feel empowering if you prefer a more go-with-the-flow approach. Her emphasis on practice and iteration is a practical tool that may help you overcome any fear that you’re not getting it “right” on the first try.

Cons:

For others, this approach may feel too unstructured. If you’re someone who prefers to figure something out and move on, the process of practice and iteration may feel drawn out without a clear end point.

Indyx: Your Three Words

Here at Indyx, we like to get very practical and tactical. It’s hard to start with a totally blank page, so our Style Workshop begins by guiding you through the process of building and editing a inspiration board that focuses your tastes - both realistic and aspirational - into a cohesive (visual) vision. This very intentional inspiration board then serves as the primary springboard upon which to base your three words.

Clear your mind and scan over your inspo board for just a few moments (like, 3 seconds or less!), taking in the overall emotional impression of the board without getting stuck in overanalyzing it. Then, immediately write down all the words that come to mind.

If your find your mind completely blank with a sudden case of writer’s block, then we have a handy word bank of style words to draw from as a starting point. Or, another tool is to take our in-app Style Quiz, which will narrow in your style to three broad archetypes with a curated bank of style words most related to those archetypes.

Or, if this brainstorming process leaves you overflowing with too many words and you’re struggling to get down to just three, then our advice for editing down is:

• Let each word serve its own purpose: We want space for each idea to breathe. If you only get three words, let each of them be different! Notice if there are words with redundant or similar meanings and select the one word that’s most resonant to you.

• Let your words be a guide: Which words feel most empowering or instructive to you in making your day-to-day style decisions?

• Let your words feel like you: If none of your three words could at all describe your current wardrobe, then maybe you’ve stretched too far. You are styling an imaginary idealized version of yourself, rather than your true self. Would the words you’ve chosen also reasonably describe you as a person?

And, you don’t have to struggle with this on your own! Anyone signed up for the (free!) Style Workshop content series has access to our community Slack channel where you can get feedback from other friendly folks going through the same process.

Pros & Cons of Indyx’s Method

Pros:

This is a more holistic process that focuses on mental picture your three words give as a whole, rather than each word on their own. If you’re drawing a blank coming up with your own words with the other methods, referencing Indyx’s word bank can be a super helpful starting point. And, the Slack community gives you a built-in sounding board if you’re someone who appreciates a little external feedback.

Cons:

If you’re not at all a visual person or are someone who tends to get very lost in Pinterest, the first step of curating a visual inspiration board may be a stumbling block.

For full detailed instructions on Indyx’s method to find your three words, first download the free app for iOS or Android. Navigate to Explore > Style Workshop and sign up for the free content series, delivered as weekly “homework” straight to your inbox.

Devon is a co-founder of Indyx and currently leads Growth for the company from San Francisco. She enjoys admiring other people’s gardens and sleeping in with her French Bulldog, Reggie.

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